#30 1984 by George Orwell
To be honest I quite enjoyed this. Maybe it was because I was able to read it on its own merits and not having studied it to death at school. (I did study ‘Animal Farm’ and recently argued that it was nearly impossible to now examine that book as anything BUT an analogy for Communism. It’s like Magic Eye puzzles: you can’t help but see it when you’ve had it pointed out to you.) Already knowing...
#31 A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
It can be the case when a book just doesn’t click for you. There were bits that I was reading that my mind wasn’t taking in at all. It is lucky that I knew the plot really from having read a book of Top 10 Dickens stories as a kid. I didn’t care for the characters mostly because I knew what was going to happen. It’s common knowledge how the book ends even if you don’t know the context. There...
31 BY 13.12.13
As I lay in my bed trying to think of some amazing New Year Resolution it came to me. I had until the 13th December to read the remains of the Big Read (‘The Lord of the Rings’ was declared the winner in 2003 on that day). Not only that but I had 31 to go. Ladies and gents, ‘31 BY 13.12.13’! So that’s my first challenge. The second? To write more for the sake of writing. So you are coming along...
officially-cumberbatched: flowerofautumn: ...
Neil Gaiman: As requested by too many people:... →
neil-gaiman: birdartpoetry asked: Mister Gaiman, you’re kickass. I was just wondering, what do you think is the best way to seduce a writer? I figured your answer would be pretty spectacular. In my experience, writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people,…
Why you should never drunk text a Whovian.
A friend of mine randomly got a drunk text from a stranger. She then did something that has earned my respect and awe. A transcript of her conversation follows. Some of this may be familiar to you.
Warning: VERY LONG. Also, words that I don't like have been bleeped out. Use your imagination.
[Transcript] Drunk Person: "tortyly drunk riht now. straight men everwhere."
Erykah: "Oh, thank God! I finally made contact! Listen, I need your help, but you're in great danger."
DP: "ni**a say wat?"
E: "Listen, my name's the Doctor. I'm a time traveler, or I was. I'm stuck in 1969 with my friend and I need your help to get my spaceship back."
DP: "u hav a spceshit?"
E: "Yes. It's a big blue box that says 'Police Call Box' on it."
DP: "dat doesnt sound liek a spceshp. gay."
E: "Hey! Don't diss the TARDIS!"
E: "No. TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. You see, I'm a Time Lord from ANOTHER planet called Gallifrey."
DP: "y u not there now?"
E: "Well...A long time ago, there was a war and all my people died except for me. I'm the last Time Lord. So I travel through time and space lending a hand wherever I can."
DP: "woahhhh. thats relly sad."
E: "Yes, it is. But now is no time to cry. You're in a lot of danger and you need to help me."
DP: "waot. how r u in 1996?"
E: "I'm in 1969. And it's really complicated."
E: "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."
DP: "im cofussed."
E: "Well, try and keep up! Never mind the wibbly stuff. All that matters is that they've taken it! The angels have the phone box."
DP: "wut angels?"
E: "Have you ever seen like a statue of an angel? At a church or a cemetary or something?"
E: "Well, they're not angels. They're creatures from another worlds. Aliens like me, except they're very, very bad."
DP: "dat maeks sense. they alwys creepeed me out. i thought theyre jus statues tho."
E: "Good eye, you've got. But they're not. They're only statues when you're looking directly at them. Once you look away, they become deadly."
E: "Listen, Lonely assassins, they were called. No-one knows where they came from. They're as old as the universe, or very nearly. They've survived this long as they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum-locked. They don't exist when being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice. It's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Course, a stone can't kill you either. But then you turn your head away, then you blink, and oh, yes it can! Notice how they always look like they're crying in the cemetaries? They're always covering their eyes?"
DP: "dats nuts! ya, ive seen dat."
E: "There's a reason for that. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry, I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.
DP: "but wut can i do? tis was all thrustted uopn me!"
E: "The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever. The damage they can do can switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me!"
DP: "ahhhhhh!!! im scrrd! idk wut 2 do! im srsly gon hav a pnic attck."
E: I'm afraid I can't help you any further. I'm stuck in 1969, but I think you're clever enough to think of something. FIND THE BLUE BOX AND GET IT BACK TO ME! The angels have it and you NEED to find it or it's all going to be over."
DP: "dont go doctr! help me!11211!!"
E: "They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!"
DP: "ik! angels hng out in gravyards rite? ill check thar 1st."
E: "Wherever you feel the need to look. I have no idea because I'm trapped 42 years in the past. Wherever you do go, just remember DON'T BLINK."
DP: "omfg. holy shit. i'll find teh box and teh angels and ill text u wen i find it. goodbi doctr. uve liked changgged me life."
alexmerry: Ian McKellen should be the voice of everything ever.
Review: The Hunger Games (Hunger Games, #1) by ...
Okay. This is the big one. As the Twilight films come to an end, the film of this book is supposedly coming into to fill the void. Rightly so. Without getting into a long Twilight rant THIS is the sort of book I would like. Yes, the main character can be blind to blinding obvious. “He says he likes me…HE’S A GOOD ACTOR!” But the narration is first person present so you can forgive that....
Review: The Secret History by Donna Tartt
You know how it goes. You have a friend who kind of annoys you. Never pays for himself, a bit of a loudmouth bigot. So you and your friends push him into a ravine because hell, it’s what the Greeks would have done! The narrator Richard Papen transfers to Hampden College in New England where he joins the Ancient Greek course taught by Julian Morrow, an elite group of just five. Richard manages to...
Review Rivers of London (Peter Grant, #1) by Ben...
This is sort of a U.K version of the Dresden Files. A London P.C tries to take witness statement after a grizzly murder. Turns out the witness is a ghost. This kicks things off with vampires and the war between the personification of the various rivers that make up the Thames. And people’s faces fall off which is always a plus. It’s pretty dark urban fantasy but not to a Constantine level....
Review: Anthropology by Dan Rhodes
“Review”: My girlfriend didn’t leave me or do much, mostly due to her lack of existence. Instead of spending time with her, braiding her hair or painting her nails various blues I read this short book. One hundred and one short stories about complicated relationships each lasting one hundred and one words. Obvious problem being that it is stupidly quick to read. Yet I see this as being the sort...